Adventures in Guangzhou!

Boudy always has a smile on his face and was immediately cracking jokes with both classmates and teachers right from the start of the first class. I think it's safe to say that I liked the guy right off the bat. There was another Lebanese guy named "Ali," (not to be confused with "Ari") who had been attending classes as well and the two of them used to chatter away in Arabic when something was unclear. Boudy speaks great English but Ali sometimes needed some help in his native language. I enjoyed learning some basic Arabic from them and found it interesting to compare basic words to their Hebrew counterparts.

Maybe it was unnecessary and maybe I was making something out of nothing, but I intentionally refrained from admitting my knowledge of Hebrew, my Jewish roots, and my travels to Israel and the Middle East. Beyond basic history lessons, experience has taught me that people around the world are not always so friendly to Jews (e.g. the time I wandered into a Parisian pub with neo-nazi propaganda on the bar). China feels eons away from antisemitism (hell, they think we're all rich and brilliant) but something in my gut told me to keep it to myself.

Regardless, we moved on in the class and I got to know Boudy a bit better. A couple weeks ago we figured out that he lives in the exact same complex where I tutor every Sunday. We made tentative plans to hang out sometime and I made a mental note to call him sometime after I finished. This past Sunday I finished giving lessons and was craving some food. I was going to just grab the bus and head home but I remembered Boudy was around. As it was around dinner time, I figured I'd give him a ring. It turns out he was heading back to his place with a business associate and would be there in 10 minutes. Sure, I'd wait.

Boudy rolled in with an older fellow named "Muhammed" who spoke about four words of English. Acting as interpretor, Boudy introduced us and explained that he was doing business with this guy, locating materials here in Guangzhou for the guy's three clothes stores back in Lebanon. They finished up and then Boudy and I headed out for some grub. I would have been happy with anything but Boudy wanted to play host so he took me to a place that advertises itself as a Turkish bbq joint. He quickly clarified that in reality it's a restaurant offering basic Arabic food and not really just a Turkish place. Either way, I was excited for Middle Eastern food. One thing I learned in Israel is that the food sure is tasty in that part of the world--very unique as well.

Boudy ordered up a feast in Arabic and we sat chatting while waiting for food. I asked him the basic question you ask a foreigner in China: What brought you to China? For me of course the answer isn't all that exciting--I wanted a new adventure and a new challenge. For boudy, however, it is much more complicated. He sort of laughed and asked me if I wanted to the whole story. This only piqued my curiosity further so naturally I asked for the whole 9 yards. He obliged and I was fascinated:

Boudy, given name "A Halim Bdeir," grew up in a small town in northern Lebanon amidst a family with three brothers. After attending university and studying business, he was obliged to spend a year in the military along with every other citizen in the country. Apparently he started in his first week and hated it right away. Having worked in a few high profile clubs while getting his degree, he made a few friends that you might consider VIPs. He made a couple of calls and managed to arrange a skiing "accident" where he could get sick leave to recoup. In reality he had an old ACL injury from basketball but it was good enough. The plan worked to perfection and he was given 6 weeks recovery time.

In that time, Boudy spoke to his cousin who was working in Dubai. He encouraged Boudy to pick up and relocate, promising to introduce him to some people who might give him work. Knowing that the government would forgive any required military service if you were abroad for five years, Boudy made the move. He got hooked up in the club scene once again and quickly made a name for himself as an excellent bartender and then manager. Being such a great people-person, he got a position as a mid-level manager at a high profile club hosting parties for movie stars, professional athletes, and rich moguls. In a word, he was living the life.

Before he knew it Boudy was surrounded by every vice you could think of: alcohol, drugs, women, cars, gambling, etc. He was getting paid big bucks by some of the major players in the gulf oil industry. He was good at what he did and made many connections in the process. His family, on the other hand, was not too happy with him. Without going so far as to tell him to come home, his father voiced his disapproval. Boudy was living a very non-Halal lifestyle.

Boudy explained to me that in Islam there are two basic categories for things: Halal and Haram. Halal is everything that is accepted, everything that is healthy, everything that is beneficial for both you and your surroundings. Haram is just the opposite. Not surprisingly, the nightclub lifestyle isn't exactly Koran-approved. After a couple of years, Boudy started to realize that the Haram lifestyle was catching up to him. He was making a ton of money and yet somehow spending even more. He was happy partying yet unsatisfied. Eventually bad things started to happen: a minor injury here, a small car accident there. Then they started to increase in severity: a friend getting beaten up, a bank reposessing a car. Finally, a good friend was killed in a DUI. Boudy wanted out.

He headed back to Lebanon, taking leave from his job and talked with his family. One of his older brothers suggested he get out of the nightclub world and start using his degree in business. He promised he could get him a job. Under serious time constraints, Boudy blindly agreed to take a position with his brother's import/export firm. The job? Working with suppliers in Guangzhou, China. He knew nothing of the language, culture, or history but decided that he needed to turn his life around. He wanted to live a more ethical life, a more satisfying existence. In a word, he wanted to be a better man.

While it was tough to leave the huge salary, the parties, and the flashy lifestyle, Boudy said that he felt better overall. After he poured his inner thoughts out to me, I felt I had to "come clean." I told him about my background and about my own experiences with Judaism. I told him about what I like, what I don't like, and about my own struggles to live as a good person. I really was slightly nervous admitting to him that I'm Jewish but he wasn't even slightly phased. It turns out he dated a Jewish girl for a long time in Dubai and had no problems with them. Much like most of us, he wants all people to coexist in peace and thinks that there must be a way.

By the end of dinner I was almost speechless, Boudy is one of the friendliest and most interesting people I have met in a long time. I venture to say that I have myself a new friend here and I look forward to hanging out with him again.