Adventures in Guangzhou!

The example she chose was for all the guys to say, "My ideal girlfriend is not only [adj] but also [adj]." It seemed like a decent enough choice--relatively funny, not too boring, etc. We started going around and I think I said something silly like, "My ideal girlfriend is not just attractive but also rich." It got more and more complicated as we went along because you weren't allowed to repeat any adjectives.

As we got to the back of the room, I suddenly realized that there was a potentially awkward situation coming up with one of the Thai students. Klahan is a guy in his younger twenties that came to Guangzhou to learn Chinese in order to expand his father's import/export business from Bangkok. Though I've only talked with him a handful of times outside of class, he was definitely one of my favorite classmates due to a quick wit and interesting sense of style. Oh yeah, and he's very gay.

Okay, I don't know that for a fact, but he fits virtually every stereotype I can think of for an effeminate homosexual man--he dresses gay, he talks with a gay affect, he walks gay, and he has never ever mentioned females in any context other than family. Put it this way, if he comes across as obviously gay in my book, then he's almost definitely not straight. Though far from being an expert, I honed my "gaydar" a bit during my four years at Wesleyan and feel that I can usually pick out the easy ones.

I was curious to see how he'd respond to the question and he didn't disappoint. When the teacher got to him, he simply answered (in Chinese), "I don't know."
Not one to give up, our teacher pushed the issue a bit further. "Well do you have a girlfriend right now?"
"No."
"Well... have you had a girlfriend in the past?"
"Not exactly."
"Oh, that's okay! You will someday."
"Umm, I'm not really worried about that."

This just goes to show once again that Chinese people seem to be a bit behind when it comes to discerning whether or not people are homosexual. They just don't seem to be able to pick up the more obvious signs. I'm guessing this has to do with the complete repression of gays and lesbians in Chinese society and the fact that it was still illegal to be openly homosexual up until about ten years ago.

Along these lines, I also find it somewhat ironic that Chinese people tend to be pretty homophobic, despite being quite a bit more openly affectionate than American guys. It's very common to see male friends walking around here arm in arm, arm around shoulder, or even holding hands. I see guys sitting on each other's laps all the time and giving back rubs while on the bus. Yet if you were to ask the average guy their opinion about gays, they would most likely tell you that it was sickening, much like their American counterparts.

Besides the issue of gays and lesbians here, I've noticed that there is still a fair amount of sexism and gender norms in Chinese society that seem mostly unintended. Perhaps it is once again the Wesleyan in me that still has an internal alarm that goes off at the first sign of this sort of thing, but my Chinese textbook is appalling when it comes to gender norms. In every dialogue, the male speakers are overwhelmingly dominant. The man talks about going to get a job and the girlfriend talks about raising children. The male students talk about training for the big football match and the girls talk about going over to cheer them on. The boys play with basketballs as children and the girls play with dolls. I started to bring this up to the teacher but my vocabulary was definitely insufficient to convey my point. Plus she probably wouldn't have known what I was talking about.

In a totally unrelated note, I'd like to give thanks for the fact that I live on the second floor of my twenty two-story building. Not only is it nice to get the exercise of walking up (not too many) stairs, but we also never have to wait for the elevator, whose lines are sometimes out the door. The elevators frequently break down as well, which seems mildly disconcerting. I feel that I am often gambling with my life when taking elevators here--you never know if, when or how they were ever examined and certified. The other day I came down and the doors of the one of the elevators was open. Inside I saw a couple of workers replacing the chain for the elevator car...that had almost rusted away. Scary.