Adventures in Guangzhou!

My sister can elaborate more, but she mentioned a few excellent remarks after I hung up. For example, they wanted to know the following: was I Chinese, how come Ilana didn't look Chinese, was she sure I was really her brother, and other scholarly gems. I suppose it makes sense when you're seven years old--someone in China should be Chinese.

Anyhow, in true first grade form, all of the students took the time to write me a thank-you card. They sent them in the mail about a week ago and I just got them today (which is record time for China Post). Reading the cards all done in crayon, I was struck by the genius of the first-grade mind. A few of my favorite lines:
"Dear Ari, How is China? Thank you."
"Dear Ari, Thanks for the answer."
"Dear Ari, Thanks for talking to us. Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love."
"Dear Ari, I barely have any space on this paper to say thank you." [it was a huge piece of paper]
and my personal favorite-
"Dear Ari, What is your best friend's name?"

You gotta love the thought process of a first grader. The cards also reminded me of a short piece I just read in a recent edition of the New Yorker that my sister sent me (thanks, Ilana!). Simon Rich is a great writer and he did a little article entitled, "The Wisdom of Children," which really made me laugh. It has nothing to do with China, but the first part goes as follows:

A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids' Table

MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.

DAD: O.K.

GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.

DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.

UNCLE: I'm having sex right now.

DAD: We all are.

MOM: Let's talk about which kid I like the best.

DAD: (laughing) You know, but you won't tell.

MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell.

FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!

DAD: (laughing) There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there aren't.

MOM: I'm angry! I'm angry all of a sudden!

DAD: I'm angry, too! We're angry at each other!

MOM: Now everything is fine.

DAD: We just saw the PG-13 movie. It was so good.

MOM: There was a big sex.

FRIEND FROM WORK: I am the loudest! I am the loudest!

(Everybody laughs.)

MOM: I had a lot of wine, and now I'm crazy!

GRANDFATHER: Hey, do you guys know what God looks like?

ALL: Yes.

GRANDFATHER: Don't tell the kids.

Anyhow, back to matters of the China variety, I had a noteworthy bus ride the other day
which proved to be a China first. I was sitting on one of the few older buses left in the city with wooden benches, big sliding windows, and no air conditioning, just half-reading the newspaper and half-daydreaming. We were stopped in a long traffic jam in an area with a lot of construction on the right side when I happened to glance up.

The guy sitting two seats up and across from me looked around at everyone on the bus and then in one swift movement, grabbed a pocketbook and package sitting next to a woman in front of him, pushed open the window, hopped out the window, landed on two feet, and sprinted full speed in the opposite direction. It was a pretty incredible feat--before I had even registered what he was doing, he was completely gone.

Not surprisingly, it caused a major commotion. Everyone on the bus was shouting, heads craning out the window to catch a glimpse of him running. The woman who got robbed was hysterical and the bus driver seemed to be amused by the whole situation. All I could think was, man--that took guts. He's got to be pretty desperate to pull a stunt like that because so many things could have gone wrong. What if the bus had started moving? What if he caught a foot on the window sill on the way down? What if he didn't land on two feet? What if the window didn't slide open quickly enough?

Chinese people always talk about how Guangzhou is such a dangerous city but until yesterday I had never actually seen a crime, other than the standard traffic violations. It doesn't change the fact that I feel completely safe here, though I suppose in the future I will be more diligent about keeping both straps of my bag on at all times. Then again, I'd laugh if a Chinese guy stole it. What's he going to do, sell my Chinese flashcards?