Hannah's PiA Blog

You know what’s disconcerting?

When you’re in the bathroom at work and you hear someone having a VERY LOUD conversation on speakerphone in the stall next to you.

Even more troubling:

When you get out of the stall and see that the person having the conversation is not only on speakerphone, but as a VIDEO CALL, too… WITH HER CHILD!!!!

So many things wrong with that… Once, I even heard her say to her kid from within the stall, “Can you see me OK?” Ewww…

There is this strange trend in Korea to wear “define” contact lenses. These are a variation on color contacts, except they increase the size of your iris and make them look darker, larger and more defined. The effect is something like a cartoon character, which Asians love resembling anyway. I’ve seen ads for them since I arrived in Korea over two years ago, but today was the first time I saw anyone wearing them. Here’s an ad:

It doesn’t look THAT strange in the ad, but in person the effect is WAY WEIRD. I was in a cosmetics store today asking the shopgirl about a product and she had them in. They were creepy and kind of unsettling, down to the pit of your stomach. Also, they kind of remind me of this:

Lady Gaga in the “Bad Romance” video.

Lesson learned from this encounter: Giant googly eyes are cool, in a very creepy way, for an absurd music video, but creepy, not in a cool way, for everyday life.

Today at work, I noticed two of my young, male coworkers were wearing camo uniforms with their names sewn on them. At first, I thought maybe they were wearing costumes, what with Halloween being two days away. But no!

Apparently, every few months, young Korean men who have completed their military service have to don their uniforms, take a few hours off work and GO BACK TO TRAINING.

I vaguely remember being told this when I first moved here, because my friend Myung-shik was upset that he would have go to back one weekend. He said essentially, you have to crawl around in the dirt and do some drills. Sounds awful.

Another coworker told me today that the older, middle-aged dudes are technically supposed to go, too, but it’s easier for them to get out of it.

I just think the whole thing is surreal. Mandatory military service = definitely the worst part of being a young Korean man.

Today, I saw a girl wearing an ethnically appropriate jacket. Not only was it one of the many North Face knock-offs so common in Korea, but its choice of faux labeling — “The Red Face” — hearkened nicely to the “Asian glow” so many of my Korean bruthas and sistas get when they drink.

In other news, fall is slowly coming to the Namsan area where I live. The main road by my house is lined with gorgeous gingko trees whose leaves are starting to turn a warm yellow. The only bad part: the gingko fruit is ripening and falling to the road, where it’s promptly stepped on, releasing a rather poopy odor. Ahhh, the pros and cons of autumn.

Am I totally crazy, or is the new Backstreet Boys album actually kind of good?

I recently returned from a trip to Cambodia, during which I had to take Malarone. I’m still finishing up my batch, and I’ve heard more than a few times how this drug gives you very vivid, freaky dreams.

I was honestly looking forward to this, because anyone who knows me knows that my dreams are Lame. Yup, with a capital L.

But alas, my dreams stayed as mundane as ever during the trip.

At one point I told my roommate, “Oh, I remember my dream!” and she replied, “What, did you read a book in it?” I think I just had my most “powerful” Malarone dream in which I was on vacation in the United States until Sunday night, but none of my friends back home had enough time to hang out with me. And, for some reason I was taking lots of antibiotics but kept forgetting when I was supposed to take them, so I was not only really sad about not seeing my friends, but I was also really confused about all these drugs I was taking.

In other news, I also recently took a trip to Taiwan. Both Taipei and Siem Reap (Cambodia) were amazing for different reasons. So if you ever get a chance to get to either, GO GO GO!!!!!!!

My guilty-pleasure channel on Korean cable has started playing “High School Musical” and “High School Musical 2” and you know what? I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve been watching.

I discovered HSM in Shanghai when I was visiting my PiA friend Leslie, and it’s really cute! I always wondered what the fuss was about, but honestly, after seeing Zac Efron in “Hairspray” I was totally in lurrrve.

The only thing is, Ryan is totally the most talented one in the entire cast. I feel bad for him. The only reason why he’s not the star is cuz he’s not as cute as that elfin Zac Efron. And I feel bad that little Ashley Tisdale felt the need to get a nose job after she got all famous. Poor, poor kids…

Why is it that the quality of Disney productions differs so greatly between live-action and animation?

I was struck by this during my recent trip to the U.S., when I was lucky enough to see “Up.” I laughed, I cried, and came away thinking it was wonderful.

Then on my (substandard) United flight back to Seoul, I was flipping through the channels and caught a few minutes of some really stupid show about a little girl whose dad is the president of the United States and her friendship with the cook’s son. So. Lame.

Live-action Disney shows are pure tween garbage, full of overexaggerated physical comedy and the most ridiculous hairstyles known to man (has anyone ever watched and episode of “Lizzie Maguire”?). Plus, this is the network that cultivated stupid Shia the Beef’s fame. Horrible.

Using expired gift certificates.

I won some at our office Christmas party (who would’ve thought, considering I proved to be all bark and no bite in the arm-wrestling and pint-chugging competitions?), and I left them sitting around for months.

Oh no! I thought to myself when I realized last month that they’d expired April 1. But nevertheless, I carried them around with me in case I’d get the opportunity — as in, nonvigilant vendor — to spend them.

That opportunity came yesterday when a gang of us went to go see the Wolverine movie. Apparently it got really terrible reviews, and I probably would have given it one myself if we hadn’t been off the week it came out. But hey, I was going to see Hugh Jackman’s jacked body (AND TAYLOR KITSCH (GAMBIT), WHO IS NONE OTHER THAN TIM RIGGINS IN “FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS”!!!!) and so I got what I came for. And yesssss, they took my gift certificates.

So to all those people who told me it would be a waste of money to see such a “terrible” movie, I say at least I didn’t spend any actual money.

I do have to say, though, that I am disappointed in how they fuglified beautiful Ryan Reynolds. Man, why’d they shave him, sew his mouth shut and ring his eyes in bloody scabs? Gross.

OK, not New York, but Seoul.

(Has anyone seen that amazing episode of “30 Rock” when Liz Lemon is talking to Floyd about how she wants to stay in New York til she’s old? And she sees that jaunty old dame walking down the street who says, “There’s nothing like springtime in New Yaaaawwwk!” — only to get shoved into a pile of garbage? So awesome.)

So yes! It’s spring! Too bad is fuh-ree-zing, or at least it was this weekend. But this was one of those “I Love Seoul” weekends, which makes the fact that I am so eagerly anticipating my trip home next month a little better. Seriously, I never thought I’d be homesick — I mean, I went away to summer camp when I was young, went far away for school, studied abroad, am doing PiA, etc. — but here I am, undeniably homesick. Weird.

So as all those PiA applicant readers out there know, Ben (my PiA predecessor) and I just wrapped up a couple preliminary interviews with our “final finalists” for my replacement. Imagine my surprise when some said they said they read this blog. How embarrassing, because it’s filled with the most vapid observations about life here. Anyhoo, interviews were fun — all the candidates are scarily awesome — and that’s all I’ll say about that.

Tonight was also super awesome because there was a big ol’ parade and festival in downtown Seoul. And whaddaya know, I just happened to be downtown! I was supposed to meet my roommate at Jogyesa, the main temple of the largest sect of Korean Buddhism, but uh… I’m a bad friend and flaked out on her. (Sorry, Roshni. I love you!) But I did happen to catch the tail end of the parade, which was LOUD and COLORFUL and brightly lit. Kinda spectacular… It’s nice to be living somewhere exuberant and exciting.

Also, on the cab ride home, I did what I swore I would never do…

I LOST MY PHONE!!! It must have fallen out of my coat pocket, but thank God I had the nicest cab driver ever. I called him from Roshni’s phone and he came all the way back to bring me my phone. It’s like that time I left my iPod at the cafe by my office and they RESCUED it for me. Thank goodness for honest people!

Finally, probably the best part of the weekend was meeting up with one of Roshni’s old friends who was in town for a wedding this weekend. He, and two of his friends, came out to meet us for dinner on Garosugil, which is this kinda swanky and very bougie street in southern Seoul. It was just so refreshing to have some smart conversation with very internationally minded Americans. It also served to remind me that I am an old, old soul who probably gets along better with people in their 30s. At least when it comes to expats in Asia. No, but seriously, these people were so cool, doing amazing things with their lives, and definitely the type that I aspire to become. What’s even cooler is that the week before, another one of my roommate’s old friends was in town, so he stayed at our house and was likewise amazingly awesome. He was this super hip vegan UCLA grad student, and someone we would have loved to add to our permanent social circle here in Seoul.

Anyhoooo, a lot has happened since my last update, but I am terrible about updating this thing… Some highlights: Cherry blossoms (and other flowers) blooming all over Seoul, going bike-riding on Yeouido with some beloved former and current co-workers, a pile of excellent books (most recently, “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” which gave me NIGHTMARES), and a FANTASTIC EASTER DINNER (full spread with a turkey[!!!!!], mashed potatoes, carrots, etc.) cooked by my amazing, wonderful, hopefully forgiving roommate Roshni. Oh, and this is not a highlight, but my work BFF Rich left the paper recently, but it’s not THAT sad since hey, now he’s going to be a huge broadcasting staaaaar. Plus, that means a new coworker!

Time to go do some Korean homework… Sorry no pictures in this post!