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October 17, 2008
Cut the Small Talk!
Here in Saigon, I love to sit down for a coffee or bowl of noodles at a crowded sidewalk cafe and just talk to people. I spend most of my professional and social life around expats and English speaking Vietnamese, and going alone to a cafe is one of the ways that I can immerse myself in the language in culture.
This morning, I sat down on a bench at a coffee stand in the alley right outside my house. In the daily rush to get to work, I always pass and say "chao buoi sang" to the coffee lady and customers, who always remind me to turn off the light on my motorbike, which I always have on from the night before. I figure that it doesn't really matter if I drive with my light on in the day, but I turn it off just to show that I respect their opinion and advice. I suspect that is one of the ways to "give face" to someone.
I digress, so back to the story. This being Saturday, I decided to take the time to sit down at the coffee cart (although I must confess that I drank tea instead of coffee - cafe sua da gives me a nice buzz, but it turns into an anxiety ridden hangover later in the day). Here are the first three questions that the gentleman who was sitting next to me asked:
1. How old are you?
2. Are you married?
3. How much money do you make?
I am finally getting used to complete strangers asking me these very personal questions. A friend explained to me that in the hierarchical, age and class conscious Vietnamese society, these questions give people an idea about where I fit into the scheme of things.
Growing up in the US, my tendency is to ask more general questions when I meet someone for the first time, like:
1. Where are you from?
2. How do you spend your free time?
3. The weather is beautiful today, isn't it?
However, now that people are asking me about my age, family, and income, I have the green light to respond to my interlocutors with the same question. Great way to get to know someone quickly - without being distracted by the small talk.
Posted by mt_mrobinson at 9:30 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack