« Welcome to Dili | Main | The Real Malae Bulak »
June 19, 2005
Guilty as Sin
I’ve been here only a day and a bit and already the guilt is starting to kick in full-force. In Bali I knew there was poverty – behind the glitzy hotels, just down the block you’d find the vendors selling jacked-priced goods in front of paint-shedding buildings of pink and grey. Walk two minutes from the Ritz Carlton and you will find trash heals on the corner with ridiculously skinny chickens pecking out an existence from the refuse. Squatted in the opposite corner is a group of three children playing with some kind of round rocks, who pause to stare at the big white girl as I walk by.
Yet, even in this I remained aloof. When a vendor tried to fleece me for a sari on a street corner, and then grabbed my arm when I walked out to stop me from leaving his store – my rage flared and I turned to stare at him, silently, thinking – ‘How dare you!?’ For the rest of my walk I looked with anger at those aggressive hawkers who called me ‘Miss’ and followed me down the street with some good to sell. I thought: “What? Do they think I’m made out of gold?”
Dili is different. The poverty is not different, I think, it’s just more apparent. In Bali I could choose to ignore it. But here, from the clothes and jewelry I wear, to my prancing around in my pressed white pants, I must look like I’m flaunting wealth. No, I am not rich – but neither am I poor – and what I once took for granted I now realize is the equivalent of materialistic Eden.
Back in Bali there were two sketchy men who really pissed me off. The first just suggestively leered, “Hey pretty lady, wanna do something?” Horrified I walked faster. The second one asked ‘Hey beautiful. Eat me.” For a second I was confused, wondering if Balinese culture had forms of cannibalism that I wasn’t aware of, but then just assuming it was another crude sexual advance. It was only today I started thinking that he meant it in the same way Americans mean it: he hated me. I realized I can’t blame him one bit.
Posted by storbert at June 19, 2005 09:44 AM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://blogs.princeton.edu/mt/mt-tb.cgi/278
Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Guilty as Sin:
» The America Complex from PIA: Ben Applegate
Yikes. I knew that I'd be living in one of the richest PiA countries, but I wasn't really prepared. The contrast here in Seoul would be nothing compared to what Sally is seeing. Getting a post in the richest city... [Read More]
Tracked on July 11, 2005 11:33 AM