In his article, “Saving Facebook”, Grimmell is careful to only refer to people who interact through social networks as ‘contacts’. This neutral term is reflected in the format of several social networking sites. For example, in Google+ you add contacts to your “circle”, and LinkedIn calls contacts “connections.” Facebook, however, coins contacts as “friends.”
Facebook’s nomenclature implies an environment of affection, companionship, and mutual trust. However, Facebook users know that is not what is truly meant by friends on Facebook. Urban Dictionary defines facebook friends as “friends on Facebook but not in real life” and “basic units of popularity”.
Although everyone knows friends on Facebook are not the same as real friends, I believe some of the social issues surrounding Facebook stem directly from its use of the word “friend.” Few people would feel comfortable positing pictures and private details about their lives on, say, Google for the world to see. Instead, they retreat onto Facebook, a place where that funny story about missing class will only be seen by “friends.”
On the other hand, if you are like the typical Facebook user that barely knows many of your 245 friends (on average), Facebook creates a false sense of security. You forget that so-called “friends” include that boy you met visiting a college you didn’t even go to, and that girl you met in SAT class two years ago.
A Disney channel star recently suffered from this phenomenon. Trying to lead at least a semblance a normal, teenage existence, she of course has a Facebook which she uses to post about her private life. While she certainly uses discretion when adding friends, as any public figure must, I can guarantee she does not know every single one of her “friends” personally.
How do I know this? Because she friended me a little while back. We have a mutual friend, but I must admit I was shocked to receive the request. Maybe he had mentioned me in conversation, or she remembered meeting me at an event, but our contact since then has been so minimal she has most likely forgotten she ever added me in the first place. Still, I have access to all of the information, posts, and photos that she designates for friends.
While typically innocuous, this can bite back. She woke up one morning to a scandal – someone had posted her somewhat racy profile picture to a fan site. The picture went viral. Some loved it, some hated it, but she cared less about their opinions and more about who had betrayed her trust and friendship. After all, she had posted the picture for a private audience.
Was this her fault? As a public figure, should she keep her Facebook usage down to only posts she would want the world to see? Should she have had better discretion when choosing her friends? Or was this the fault of her “friend”? Someone who should have adhered to a social norm and known that the photo had an implicit “do not share”?
Personally, I am not sure. But I do believe the terminology of Facebook actively creates an atmosphere that is conducive to social dilemmas such as this one.