I wasn’t sad when I left Jishou, and this bothered me. I would look at the students and teachers crying around me and wonder why I wasn’t crying. The students waved at us with teary eyes as our train pulled out of the Jishou station, but I stood calmly and watched them through the window.

Those last few days in Jishou and Shanghai I analyzed my feelings like this: we had a job to do, we did a damn good job with it, and it was time to move on. In a brief six weeks I learned an extraordinary amount from the students and they learned from me. Perhaps that sounds presumptuous, but I know it’s true. The students told us. During our last teary precept, which was Thursday, August 9th, Nick, Arianna and I brought all of the Dragons together and reflected on the summer. It was amazing to hear our students recount the small details of our interactions over the summer that meant so much to them. It was more clear than ever that we provided a singular experience for them, and that’s what we came to do. So I left with a comfortable sense of satisfaction and a perceptible but not overwhelming amount of sadness.

Now I’m on a plane from Moscow to NY and my feelings are changing. I just reviewed my pictures from our last day in Jishou and felt a sudden pang of sadness. I’m going to miss those guys. They’re the best and they deserve the best. I can still do more for them and I will.

(I also just watched A Beautiful Mind on the airplane which was emotional and is not helping things right now).

Here are some memories that make me miss the students:

–During one precept, we were discussing whether one’s personality is different when speaking a foreign language. Maybe “personality” is too strong, but I do think that one might say something in a foreign language that they wouldn’t say in their native language. For example, one of the students mentioned that when they’re speaking English they often throw around the phrase “I love you.” In Chinese, however, they rarely say it (so when they do, it carries much more weight). During our final precept, one student’s final comment to the three of us was, in Chinese, “我爱你们” (I love you.)

–Some of the Dragons that we went on our home stay with like to call me “ben ge”. “Ben” is the second syllable of “Reuben” and “ge” is a friendly way to say “elder brother.” I like this name.

The first thing I plan to do when I get internet access, after publishing this post, is respond to two emails from students from a few days ago.

One last shout out to the sick, mad, dope, crazy awesome Dragons team. And the rest of the amazing SoS group, I love you guys too. Thanks for making this an unforgettable summer.

And thanks PiA for bringing me to Jishou. I’ll pay you back somehow.

Over and out.