I thought that I should start out by writing about my expectations, but I hesitate to overemphasize them. It’s sort of tricky to explain what I mean by this, but I should give it a shot. While I have been looking forward to this trip for what seems like ages, I somehow still haven’t thought so much about what I expect it to be. We were asked to imagine what the physical city of Jishou would look like, and I wrote something vague about the height and color of University buildings. But truthfully, I don’t want to have expectations. I want no mental image, no preconceptions, no imagined first steps out of the station in Jishou or interactions with our students – no expectations. It’s as though I’ve chosen the blindfold and will not peak, because I know that peaking will only given me an obscured version of the real deal. The true experience will speak for herself, I believe, and she will arrive in due time. So for the time being, I’m just savoring the last three (slightly hectic) weeks that I will have here in the Garden State for quite some time. This is definitely not to say that I’m not excited – quite the opposite! Rather, my excitement lies purely in the prospect of the unknown, the unexpected, the unanticipated.

Something that I do already know is that this is a priceless group. I think I’ve already shed a few tears laughing with them during our many group meeting. And since I really didn’t know anyone too well going in, I still have so much to learn about everyone in the bunch. So much bonding lies ahead! After all, two months navigating through a Chinese summer should do the trick…

So I suppose that although I don’t want them to color the actual experience, I do have expectations. And I have qualms, too. I have qualms about the moments or days or experiences or feelings that tend to get glazed over or forgotten when they exist in memory. But when they are happening in the present, nothing could be more real. The moments when you wonder why you decided to journey halfway across the world to a foreign land that you barely understand, rather than staying home where life is predictable and familiar. Or the moments where you feel like you made all the wrong decisions that day, said all the wrong things, or let everyone down. Talking to the various members of the plentiful SoS legacy, it seems that their experiences were overwhelmingly positive. But yet my wary self still fears those moments most, because the promise of a good story never seems to abate the disappointment felt while climbing into bed that night.

But enough of Debbie Downer (or should I say Jaded Jess?). I say bring the sun, bring the rain, and bring everything in between. Because what I most anticipate is learning the things that I had never expected to learn. In other words, I can’t wait to know what I didn’t know I was going to know. Or did I just get too meta? Either way, this summer is bound to teach so many lessons beyond our lesson plans. And they are just waiting to be discovered.

But in the meantime, there is still so much to be done! So, here I go, back to that to-do list…