This summer was nothing like I expected it to be. We kept hearing the term ‘life changing’, but I wasn’t sure if that word would be used to describe my experience.

The last two weeks in Jishou were both physically and emotionally draining. I pushed myself to teach the same way I had been teaching even though I knew my health was getting worse. I scheduled meals and activities knowing that I needed time to rest. I went to the orphanage, entering the building a bit nervous because I knew I needed more emotional strength. On top of that, the students drained me of the little emotional stability I had left. On the day of graduation, we went around the classroom and each student had a chance to say what they expected at the beginning of the program, and what it was really like. Students who hardly spoke in class expressed their gratitude. Students who always smiled and laughed were crying. I couldn’t help but to also shed some tears. I wasn’t going to hold them in. I wouldn’t have been able to if I tried. And just when I thought it was all over, just when I thought I could go back to the apartment and rest, I was hit with the final blow. Five amazing individuals, not my students, said their goodbyes.  At one point I wished it would have been a simple goodbye. But it wasn’t. It was an expression of sincerity and gratitude that I have not seen in other people before. Just when I thought that dehydration and fatigue had taken all the water and willpower from my body, those students made me shed some more tears. To me, this was not an exaggeration, but a reality. I felt that I was leaving them behind. I felt that maybe my job wasn’t completed.

Thank goodness for the trip to Shanghai. All I can say is that it was the perfect transition before getting on the plane. As Reuben, Eliot and I rode the taxi to the airport, I found myself smiling, no tears. I can’t tell myself that my job isn’t completed. On the contrary, now I feel like I did more than I thought I’d be able to in Jishou, all thanks to the students and my fellow foreign teachers. The eleven teachers had to deal with me, and I’m thankful to them for their hard work. Jishou students and Princeton students.  They’re the ones who taught me everything.

I’m on the plane, almost back in New York City. I see Reuben’s head and headphones from my seat. I’ll ask for water when the flight attendant comes around.

I need rest.

-Christian J. Rivera